One of the most challenging issues in this ongoing journey with an LGBTQ-identifying child continues to be: what to say and when.
For example, when my daughter, in the course of conversation, says, “I didn’t choose this,” how should I respond? Should I respond to that statement right then? (If so, I’m sadly inept at responding thoughtfully in the moment!)
What about a few days later, when the conversation comes to mind again, and you realize, this is an opportunity! I’m always praying for opportunities to speak life into her…. So, now, Lord?
If now, what do I say?
What are the risks?
As I count the potential repercussions, am I willing to go there no matter the cost?
And what if it does blow up in my face?
There are lots of questions, lots of clutter to cut through; fears to overcome—again.
In my heart, I am willing—so willing to obey God and follow His leading.
But what if I’m hearing Him wrong? What if it’s my flesh that’s clothed in heavenly garb, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing? HOW DO I KNOW?
Maybe you can relate?
So…here’s what I do….
I pray, asking Him to give me the words—His words—to share with her.
Then I write out my response.
I let it sit for a while, continuing to pray the prayer that never fails: Thy Will Be Done.
I also usually share it with a trusted friend, asking her to pray over it, read it, and give me her honest thoughts. (This must be a friend who is willing to tell you hard truths that you may not want to hear, instead of the people-pleasing friend who will affirm anything and everything you present….)
I pray for clarity, surrendering my fleshly desires to Him, repenting of any sin He brings to mind. My goal is to be a clean and pure vessel for His purposes.
Then I wait.
I wait for God to speak, not just to my mind, but to my heart. I wait for His peace that surpasses all human understanding; I ask Him to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus from the enemy of my soul. (Philippians 4:7).
I may even ask Him for confirmation from a stranger or whatever means He deems appropriate.
Then I wait some more and watch, expecting His best….
In the end, however I respond is an act of faith. But even if I miss it, or blow it, I trust with all my heart that God will bring good from it because I love Him and am called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
Surrender — Trust — Submission to His will…. Waiting for His “go.” This is my “process.”
And I remind myself that He loves her even more than I do, and I would rather risk speaking than remain silent if speaking is what I sense He wants me to do. Obedience with a humble heart is the winning combination—even if He says I am to keep quiet. His way is best. I submit to Him knowing His way is best, and trust the outcomes to Him.